Rosie Green: 'Love me, love my big pants' - YOU Magazine Fashion Beauty Celebrity Health Life Relationships Horoscopes Food Interiors Travel Sign in Welcome!Log into your account Forgot your password? Password recovery Recover your password Search Sign in Welcome! Log into your account Forgot your password? Get help Password recovery Recover your password A password will be e-mailed to you. YOU Magazine Fashion Beauty Celebrity Health Life Relationships Horoscopes Food Interiors Travel Home Life Relationships Rosie Green ‘ Love me love my big pants’ By You Magazine - May 9, 2021 Introducing our must-read new sex columnist, Rosie Green (@lifesrosie). ‘Mystery!’ my friend H would shriek in horror whenever I revealed that I had exposed my moustache bleach-wearing/emergency glasses-sporting/comfy pants-parading self in front of my partner. H’s argument is that such things extinguish desire faster than Katie Price gets through fiancés. A survey would seem to back her up. It found that men’s third biggest turn-off was Bridget Jones underwear – with more than half of them (52 per cent) saying they had been put off by big knickers or underwear that is old. (Numbers one and two were insisting on having the lights off and being motionless during sex.) Photograph: Louise Samuelsen. Stylist: Nicola Rose. Make-Up: Caroline Barnes. Hair: Ben Cooke Hair Colour: Nicola Clarke. Tan: Amanda Harrington London Where do you stand on this? When I was married I was always about openness but I’ve reassessed my position; I have started to see the benefits of keeping some things private. This is my chance to start over and keep standards high: sexy underwear, shaved legs… Bodily functions firmly out of sight (and sound) because there’s nothing sexy about them and in a new relationship you want to present the best version of you. A previous boyfriend told me he had spent the six months we were seeing each other leaving the room whenever he needed to burp. And, well, I appreciated that. My friend N says she and her partner are all about Classic FM in the loo. When I asked her to expand she said the radio (positioned in the bathroom for such purposes) is tuned to the aforementioned station to mask any sounds and an air freshener is deployed to destroy any olfactory evidence. But how far is too far? When does it go from being polite and considerate to presenting a false façade? I mean, sex is messy, funny and unpredictable. Fact. So it seems a bit strange that you might be willing to bare all (literally) in the most intimate of ways, but you don’t want your partner to see your body without a layer of fake tan and a Brazilian wax. Is it not a trap (for you and them) presenting yourself as hairless, honed, toned perfection? I’ve always admired the chutzpah of a friend who, on her third sleepover with a new boyfriend, pulled on her flannelette PJs, put on her reading glasses and started a boxset on her iPad. ‘This is me,’ she said, ‘so if it’s a problem you better say.’ They’re now very happily married with kids, in case you were wondering. The truth is in a sexual relationship, awkward things will happen. You’ll clunk teeth while kissing. You will have morning breath. You may make, er, some unwanted noises. Another friend told me she was sleeping, spooning naked with her relatively new boyfriend, when she woke having accidentally broken wind on his leg, the startlingly loud sound reverberating off his thigh. She lay awake monitoring his breathing to see if he had woken. He didn’t change rhythm. She was thankful. A week later he said, ‘You farted on my leg.’ Bodily functions happen to all of us, so isn’t it about shrugging off these moments rather than being mortified by them? When Emily Nagoski, sexual wellbeing expert and author of Come As You Are, talks about desire in Natasha Lunn’s brilliant book Conversations on Love (to be published in July), she says: ‘The simple way to think about it is that if you are in a sexy state of mind and your partner tickles you, it could feel good and lead to other things. But if that same person tickles you when you are annoyed with them, you might want to punch them in the face. It’s the same sensation with the same partner, but your brain interprets it differently because the context is different.’ Hmm… so if they have just trimmed their toenails and put the clippings in their empty coffee mug* and this disgusts you, then you are less likely to feel sexy? That makes sense. Psychologist, author and podcaster Fiona Murden agrees that it’s all about context, and says how much mystery you choose to retain and its impact on your and their desire is not black and white. ‘Just as you wouldn’t go to dinner in your tracksuit bottoms, you probably shouldn’t fart in bed if you are wanting to have sex. You are more likely to initiate sex if you’ve done your hair and shaved your legs. And to your partner it shows you care. But, crucially, you don’t want to do anything out of desperation – you’ve got to be comfortable in your own skin.’ Because that is the sexiest thing of all. *This actually happened RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR Rosie Green Will this be the winter of our discontent Rosie Green Want to find true love Follow your nose Rosie Green I have a love rival – his phone DON' T MISS Fiona Bruce Sometimes I struggle not to cry November 14, 2021 17 beautiful 2021 diaries to help you to look forward to December 4, 2020 Why women leave men for women What’ s fuelling the rise of April 28, 2019 Hollywood veteran Laura Linney on plastic surgery friendship and her stellar July 3, 2017 You can shop the khaki jumpsuit from Holly Willoughby’ s new M& S July 17, 2019 The secrets and lies behind this happy family photo April 11, 2021 It’ s cocktail hour Olly Smith’ s cocktail recipes and Eleanor Maidment s canapé November 14, 2021 BBC One has revealed its Christmas TV schedule and there’ s lots December 2, 2020 YOU Beauty Box August Reviews August 1, 2017 Rome has been named the cheapest major city to visit in August 7, 2019 Popular CategoriesFood2704Life2496Fashion2240Beauty1738Celebrity1261Interiors684 Sign up for YOUMail Thanks for subscribing Please check your email to confirm (If you don't see the email, check the spam box) Fashion Beauty Celebrity Life Food Privacy & Cookies T&C Copyright 2022 - YOU Magazine. 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