59 Kinda Funny Things Every Woman Has Thought On A First DateSkip To ContentHomepageSign InSearch BuzzFeedSearch BuzzFeedlol Badge Feedwin Badge Feedtrending Badge FeedCalifornia residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data.Do Not Sell My Personal Information 2022 BuzzFeed, Inc PressRSSPrivacyConsent PreferencesUser TermsAd ChoicesHelpContactSitemapPosted on 27 Nov 2017 59 Kinda Funny Things Every Woman Has Thought On A First Date I've met THE ONE! by Tolani ShoneyeBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink Remee Patel / Setsukon / Getty Images 1. I got a date tonight...BITCHES! 2. What if this is the one? 3. I feel like this might just be the one. 4. Not to put too much pressure on it, but this is definitely the one. 5. I say this every time, and it's never the one. 6. FFS. 7. Why am I even going on this date? 8. What am I going to wear? 9. Jeans and a nice top, or a dress, maybe a dress. No, a dress is too much, jeans and a nice top always. 10. Should I shave? 11. Fuck shaving, I can't be arsed. 12. Ok, I'm going to shave, just in case. 13. I'll have a nice bath, I'll shave, and I'll feel all sexy, luxurious, and smooth. Flo Perry / BuzzFeed 14. Not to bring this back up again, but this might be the one. 15. Ok, time to get ready and look fucking amazing. 16. Let me put some music on. 17. All the single ladies... All the single ladies. I won't be single for much longer BIITCHHH. 18. I might try something new with my makeup tonight. 19. That's a stupid idea. 20. Why would I try a new makeup look tonight. Tonight of all nights! 21. The night I am meeting THE ONE! 22. Ok, I'm ready. 23. I look great, I am great. Anyone would be lucky to have me. 24. Just going to send my bestie a picture so she can tell me how great I look. 25. "You looking amazing babe, just be yourself." Who the fuck asked her for advice? 26. What the fuck does "be yourself" even mean? 27. What even is myself? 28. Ok shit, I'm late. 29. One more look in the mirror. Yep, I look great. 30. It's going to be great. 31. Ok, I'm here. 32. Mmmm, where is my date? 33. I should text, I will text. Should I text? 34. Ok, I've texted. Remee Patel / Dolgachov / Getty Images 35. Oh! 36. Walk to the table then. WALK BITCH! You are about to meet the one. 37. Shit, I didn't wear perfume. 38. How can I forget to wear perfume? 39. What if I smell? Shit, I smell. 40. Might as well go home now. 41. SMILE. 42. No, not like that. What is actually wrong with ME? 43. "Hi." 44. I guess I am the only one that made an effort for this date. 45. Thank god I didn't wear a dress. 46. I shaved for this. Lol. 47. L O FUCKING L. 48. This is clearly not the one. Vystek-photographie / Getty Images 49. Might as well be myself. 50. Yeah, I'll have another drink. Give me all the drinks. 51. Oh wait, I'm actually having a good time. 52. I should go to the toilet to check if I'm still as hot as I was earlier. 53. Still hot. 54. Yep, I'll have another drink. 55. Wait wait, that was a real laugh. 56. I'm actually having fun. 57. This is fun! 58. THIS IS THE ONE. 59. Naaaa...I'm just drunk. Share This ArticleFacebook PinterestTwitterMailLink BuzzFeed DailyKeep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.