If You Have A Dark Sense Of Humour These 24 Tweets Are Just For You

If You Have A Dark Sense Of Humour These 24 Tweets Are Just For You

If You Have A Dark Sense Of Humour These 24 Tweets Are Just For YouSkip To ContentHomepageSign InSearch BuzzFeedSearch BuzzFeedlol Badge Feedwin Badge Feedtrending Badge FeedCalifornia residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data.Do Not Sell My Personal Information 2022 BuzzFeed, Inc PressRSSPrivacyConsent PreferencesUser TermsAd ChoicesHelpContactSitemapPosted on 27 Dec 2017 If You Have A Dark Sense Of Humour These 24 Tweets Are Just For You "Gonorrhea would’ve been a good name for a diarrhea medicine." by Jamie JonesBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1 David Hughes @david8hughes Me: will there be sausage rolls? Margaret [sobbing uncontrollably]: th-there- Me [louder]: Margaret. Your husband's funeral. Sausage rolls? 04:30 AM - 25 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 2 Jake Hullinger @_LitRomney i pulled out my insulin pump in class and sarah leans over and goes “is that the new iphone 10!?”. fuck u sarah it’s diabetes 06:47 PM - 05 Dec 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 3 Jon Rowlandson @jonrowlandson Pac Man is in a bad place these days. 05:53 PM - 02 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 4 Elle Oh Hell plus several ellipses................ @ElleOhHell I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago. Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful. 04:18 PM - 21 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 5 Andee @andeee_o Damn I never realize how bad my potty mouth gets at school until I'm home for the holidays and I accidentally tell… https://t.co/4jElX0Bsag 11:22 PM - 23 Dec 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 6 Ruthanne Reid @RuthanneReid I still think this is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. 10:36 PM - 04 Dec 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 7 Lettermas @oldfriend99 My dentist can do it all, from a simple cleaning to identifying my charred remains 05:28 AM - 18 Nov 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 8 Joe West @joejwest The worst thing about owls is the way they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave. 02:27 PM - 09 Sep 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 9 jingle bellison @girlinabasement [sinister narrator voice] sometimes... you don't want to get better 08:21 PM - 28 Nov 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 10 k e i t h ? @KeetPotato me: [pointing gun in air] "EVERYBODY LISTEN UP THIS IS A ROBBERY" girl: "dude, this is a library" me: "oh" [screwin… https://t.co/Ct5UX8dDTU 02:43 PM - 28 Nov 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 11 Hippo @InternetHippo julius caesar (dying after being stabbed 23 times): please…name a salad after me 11:38 PM - 21 Oct 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 12 John Brennan @UpturnedBathtub Just found this massive syringe at my local park, right beside where the kids play football. Absolutely disgusting. 07:03 PM - 07 Jun 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 13 Eliza Skinterklaas @elizaskinner Shout out to all the early humans who died figuring out what plants we can and can't eat. 02:14 AM - 30 Nov 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 14 crân-buri-ghân @bromanconsul "As for weather on the east coast-" *Don draws a dick on the map* The anchors laugh. Don is fired. In 36 hours a dickstorm levels Baltimore 06:09 PM - 26 Aug 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 15 Mr. Bad Guy @Tess jesus christ, jean. 11:33 PM - 11 Apr 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 16 Dan North Polish Last Name @danjan13 The Time Person of the Year should be the same every year: the person inside Big Bird, for resisting the urge to kill. 10:30 AM - 25 Nov 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 17 AmberTozer @AmberTozer Hope I see someone get attacked by a bird today I could really use it 01:34 PM - 20 Dec 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 18 pat tobin @tastefactory Reminder of one of the darkest moments in history 03:24 PM - 25 Nov 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 19 roving dick bndit-ntifa scum whore/crimefucker @Crime_Doer DONTSAYUWANTAGOTHGFIFUFREAKOUTWHENSHESACKSROME 04:39 AM - 04 Oct 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 20 Hippo @InternetHippo me: hi do you take walk-ins the morgue: what 12:56 AM - 20 Jun 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 21 Bucky “ask me about updog” Isotope @BuckyIsotope I don’t remember this episode 01:21 AM - 13 Dec 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 22 pony starwars @tigersgoroooar gonorrhea would’ve been a good name for a diarrhea medicine. 02:38 PM - 13 Nov 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 23 dan mentos @DanMentos [last supper] Jesus: *raising chalice* let us sup Judas: what's sup? Jesus: Not much what's up with you lmao Judas: this is the last straw 03:05 PM - 07 Mar 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 24 Twitter: @gossipgriII Share This ArticleFacebook PinterestTwitterMailLink BuzzFeed DailyKeep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.
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