11 Self-Care Tips To Try When You Don't Know Where To StartSkip To ContentHomepageSign InSearch BuzzFeedSearch BuzzFeedlol Badge Feedwin Badge Feedtrending Badge FeedCalifornia residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data.Do Not Sell My Personal Information 2022 BuzzFeed, Inc PressRSSPrivacyConsent PreferencesUser TermsAd ChoicesHelpContactSitemapPosted on 25 Oct 2018 11 Self-Care Tips To Try When You Don t Know Where To Start Some small adjustments, and some bigger changes to help you brighten your day. by Ailbhe MaloneBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink Sometimes the idea of changing your habits is so overwhelming It s hard to know where to start when you don t even know what you need Naoise Dolan/ Icon Books This means it can be infuriating when one is bombarded with wellness tips from all angles. (I am not unaware of the irony of writing this in a ~wellness tips~ article.) When well-meaning friends suggest yoga or yoghurts or whatever as a panacea, their good intentions can be almost heartbreaking. You might feel pushed and pulled between sceptically querying their suggestions, and desperately hoping that they’ll work. For me finding the right self-care regimen feels like playing one of those coin drop machines at the arcade – you know the ones where you slowly drop in pennies as it pushes them over a ledge Natalya Lobanova/ BuzzFeed Even though the game is tricky and requires constant input from me, there’s also a chance that someday, I’ll win. Incidentally, I do love this game and play it all the time (which probably tells you all you need to know about me). In the same way that playing a coin drop machine won’t win you enough money for a house deposit, these small mental adjustments won’t change your life overnight. But they might distract you for a moment, or help you figure out what does and doesn’t work, for you. Feel free to adapt these tips so that they work for you – and let us know in the comments if you've got a great tip to share. 1 Find an instant distraction that you can turn to when you re feeling worried Becky Barnicoat/ BuzzFeed It could be as simple as thinking of how you would cross a room without touching the ground, or listing animals alphabetically – anything that will focus your tired brain on something different. 2 Try to find some internal stillness Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed I know, I know, this is the meditation bit. You could try a guided meditation app, or you could lean into your daydreamer tendencies. Create a scenario in which you get to imagine rich detail; for example, I can happily plan my dream lavish wedding, or what I’d do if I were a popstar. Or, if you don’t have the time or desire to wander too deep into daydreams, focus on something concrete – like the buds on the plants on your windowsill; marvel at how the sun’s energy is turning them into flowers ever so slowly. 3 If you have bad habits you re trying to change like picking at your skin or biting your nails try replacing the sensation with something else Hannah Hillam/ BuzzFeed For instance, you might try holding an ice cube. (I tried this, and while the actual ice cube didn’t work for me, the act of interrupting the impulse to pick did. I’ve also used a fidget spinner or a fidget cube too.) 4 Print out and frame some photos of family and friends View this photo on Instagram instagram.com You can buy frames really cheaply at stores like Tiger or Poundland, and there are quite a few online stores that let you print from Instagram for pennies. Having visual reminders of the people who love and care about you is like an arts and crafts comfort blanket. 5 Find a pause button in your day Loryn Brantz/ BuzzFeed Instead of trying to push through to end of the working day, make time to recharge. And realise that ‘recharging’ looks different for everyone – maybe you like to chat to a friend, or listen to a podcast while taking a stroll around the block. For example, I like to stop around 3pm (schedule permitting) and do the crossword for fifteen minutes. 6 Say no rather than yes Andrea Hickey/ BuzzFeed If plans and commitments are overwhelming you, it’s ok to cancel or adjust them. If you’re someone whose default is to make no plans, then make a couple of small, low-risk plans – maybe to walk around your local park with a friend, or to read two chapters of your book in a new coffee shop. 7 Spend some time making your bedroom as calm as possible View this photo on Instagram instagram.com This doesn’t have to mean diffusers and whatnot – it can be smoothing down your sheets, plumping your pillows. You can make a really good and cheap pillow spray for pennies by mixing lavender essential oil, alcohol and water in an old clean spray bottle. 8 Throw out clothes that make you feel bad Jen Lewis/ BuzzFeed BuzzFeed editor Arianna Rebolini wrote about throwing out clothes she had bought when her weight fluctuated due to an eating disorder: "I was beginning every single day with a terrible task – facing a closet that told me my body wasn’t right, and choosing which way I’d like to be made physically uncomfortable that day. My clothes were undoing years of work toward accepting my body as-is, coaxing me into old belief". Are you holding on to clothes that don’t reflect who you are anymore – or who you want to be? Clothes are not an indicator of your worth – if jeans don’t fit, give them to a charity shop, and buy ones that make you feel good about your body. 9 Watch a TV show that reinforces how you feel Lauren Zaser/ BuzzFeed This could be Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s depiction of borderline personality disorder, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’s determination to live alongside her PTSD, or even RuPaul’s Drag Race, which endlessly preaches: ‘If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?’ All these shows are available on Netflix at the moment, btw – you can download and watch them whenever you want. 10 Upgrade your shower experience View this photo on Instagram instagram.com Buy a shower gel that you love, or light a candle before you hop in. Spend an extra minute under the hottest water you can stand, and use a fresh, fluffy towel. For a long time, I hated baths (so boring!) until I was given a waterproof Bluetooth speaker for Christmas. Now I listen to an audiobook while I wallow. 11 Invest in one thing that makes your day a little brighter Rachel Miller/ Taylor Miller/ BuzzFeed Whether that’s a specific type of pen you like, or a water bottle in a bright colour. Just something that makes you smile when you look at it. My desk at work is surrounded with dumb trinkets, and I’m like a magpie in stationery shops: I pick up pens and highlighters that feel pleasing to me. Did you like what you ve read This article is an extract from 101 Tiny Changes to Brighten Your Day Icon Books by Ailbhe Malone out now Icon Books Ailbhe Malone is Campaigns Manager at BuzzFeed, and has featured as an industry expert on BBC’s The Apprentice, and for Phaidon’s Where to Eat Pizza (2016). Prior to BuzzFeed, she worked for Nylon (US), NME (UK), The Irish Times and Wired. Getting Rid Of Clothes I Hated Helped Me Love My Body buzzfeed.com 16 Times Mental Health Was Accurately Portrayed In TV And Movies In 2017 buzzfeed.com I Finally Found A TV Character Whose Depression Looks Like Mine buzzfeed.com Share This ArticleFacebook PinterestTwitterMailLink BuzzFeed DailyKeep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.