The age gap between Love Island's Gemma and Davide is wrong Who we are Contact Advertise Tips UK Write Tips News Trash Agenda Trends Opinion Guides UK Belfast Birmingham Bournemouth Bristol Brookes Cambridge Cardiff Coventry Durham Edinburgh Exeter Glasgow King's Lancaster Leeds Lincoln Liverpool London Manchester Newcastle Nottingham Oxford Sheffield Soton St Andrews Sussex University of East Anglia Warwick York There is no way you can justify Davide and Gemma’s eight year age gap Dating a 27-year-old when you’ve barely finished your first year of uni just isn’t right 4 months ago Lydia Venn Love Island 2022 UK In classic Love Island fashion, the producers have cast a 19-year-old in this year’s series – Gemma Owen. She was born in 2003, the same year Myspace and Finding Nemo came out. But she’s coupled up with Davide, who is not only drier than a piece of sandpaper, but is also eight years older than her. This pairing has got everyone *but* the Islanders asking – how big of an age gap is too much? Of course there are exceptions to big age gaps, like when you’re older and in a very similar stage of life, but in this case, a grown man dating a teenager is just wrong. Dating a 27-year-old when you’ve barely finished your first year of uni isn’t right. These relationships are full of imbalance and are so often about power. The men have more life experience, more money and they often use this to control and mould the young women they’re dating. Why don’t they date women their own age? Because with a teenager you’re more likely to get away with a lack of commitment or get called out for your behaviour. And at an extremely base level men fetishise younger women for their apparent looks and innocence, we see it all the time. Chances are, they’re not dating you because they see you as a genuinely equal partner they respect and can build a future with, but because you look good on their arm and you won’t expect anything from them apart from sex and dates. This dynamic isn’t clear to you when you’re in the relationship at 19, but when you look back you realise it wasn’t right. I learned the hard way, from dating men much older than me. via ITV Between the ages of 18 to 20 I dated a number of men in their late 20s, having a six month relationship with a 26-year-old when I was 19. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. They were attractive, I thought their attention made me cool and different to my friends who were getting off with stoner first years and rugby boys. They paid for my drinks, complimented me, and I felt safe with them. But in hindsight these relationships were completely toxic. On my first date with Ben* he claimed he didn’t realise I was 19, despite it being listed on my Tinder profile. He seemed a little taken aback but it didn’t stop him dating me for the next six months. At the time it didn’t feel like there was much difference in our lives. He was making a career change and living back home after spending a few years travelling, I was in my second year of uni balancing nights out with essays. It seemed like we were on the same page. But in reality we couldn’t have been more different. He had already lived so much more than me. He’d been in the army, gone travelling, his friends were getting married and he’d had his heart broken. Looking back there were red flags that should have been going off to suggest our age gap was too big. His friends would tease him for dating me, he wasn’t going to pres with me and my friends, he would have found it odd to be on a night out with a bunch of immature 19 year olds, and yet he had no problem sleeping with one. My relationship with Ben ended as he wasn’t ready for a commitment and now, I couldn’t be more thankful that relationship ended. I would have finished uni with a boyfriend who was nearly 30, probably ready to settle down and start a family, restricting me in doing all the things I wanted to do – move to London, start a career and travel. Even if he would have encouraged me to do these things, it would have felt odd doing it alone, not being able to share the excitement with someone who was going through it at the same time as you, because they’d already done it. via ITV Louise* was 19 when she met 30 year old Chris* on Tinder. She was bored one night and widened her age range and soon matched with Chris. They dated on and off for the next three years. Louise found it refreshing dating Chris. The boys at uni felt immature, whereas here was Chris, a proper man who was kind and caring and made her feel safe, despite not knowing much about him. Louise didn’t expect the relationship to go anywhere, mainly because of their age gap, but it was fun to gossip about with her friends. But there were times when it was extremely obvious they were from different generations. Chris would pay for Louise’s Ubers everywhere, she was used to just taking the bus, Chris would often send Louise memes as a way to relate to her and he would say he was “better than the guys at uni”. Their relationship ended for the final time when Louise was on a night out pretty drunk and Chris was 100 per cent sober sat at home asking Louise to come over and sleep with him. Despite Louise saying this wasn’t a good idea, Chris continued to pressure her and so Louise blocked him on everything. This is not to say age gap relationships don’t work. I’ve seen it in my own family, but it only really works later in life when you’re settled down and at a similar stage in your career with a similar level of life experience. I’m now 25, not even the age Ben was when he started dating me, and I can’t imagine going on a date with a 19-year-old, let alone be in a relationship with one. It would be naive to suggest 19 year olds aren’t mature or don’t know their own mind or aren’t capable of having deep and meaningful relationships. However, there is just something icky about the idea of dating someone who was born in the same year Love Actually came out. It feels inappropriate, like crossing an invisible boundary, that whilst not illegal, feels immoral. Gemma and Davide may not work out, but there will be plenty of other men watching Love Island thinking it’s ok to go after 19-year-old girls in the club. And the 19 year olds may welcome their attention like I naively did, but the guys in their late 20s should know better. *Names change to protect anonymity Featured image credit via ITV Love Island 2022 continues tonight at 9pm on ITV2. For all the latest Love Island 2022 news and gossip, a first look at each episode, and for the best memes and quizzes, like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook. Related stories recommended by this writer •This is what a relationship expert thinks of Love Island’s first couples •Inside the Instagram accounts of this year’s Love Islanders •Five years later, what are the Love Islanders of season three up to now? 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