Experts say this is when to tell your partner you've cheated - YOU Magazine Fashion Beauty Celebrity Health Life Relationships Horoscopes Food Interiors Travel Sign in Welcome!Log into your account Forgot your password? Password recovery Recover your password Search Sign in Welcome! Log into your account Forgot your password? Get help Password recovery Recover your password A password will be e-mailed to you. YOU Magazine Fashion Beauty Celebrity Health Life Relationships Horoscopes Food Interiors Travel Home Life Experts say this is when to tell your partner you’ ve cheated By You Magazine - November 7, 2018 There are plenty of reasons why people cheat in relationships. But when is the right time to come clean? Whether it’s a drunken one night stand or a full blown affair, experts say there’s only one way to deal with the consequences if you still want to be with your partner – keep it to yourself. Getty Images Speaking to Refinery29, Megan Fleming, PhD, a marriage counsellor and sex therapist in New York City, explained why telling your partner about your infidelities can only cause harm. ‘You’re the one sitting with the guilt, and if [the affair] is over and done, you absolutely don’t want to then put that on your partner,’ she told the publication. Instead, Dr Flemming suggests that individuals who have cheated on their partner should focus on themselves and identifying the reason behind the affair. ‘Obviously on some level your relationship was feeling challenged,’ she continued. Naturally, Dr Flemming’s advice divided opinions as on one hand some readers believed that it made sense as it meant protecting your partner from unnecessary pain, especially if the affair is completely over. Meanwhile others thought that keeping such a huge secret would lead to a toxic relationship. Alamy Stock Photos However, American author and relationship expert, Susan Winter, agrees with Dr Flemming’s methods to an extent. ‘The truth is that relieving one’s guilt comes at the direct expense of their mate,’ she told The Independent. ‘While honesty is indeed the hallmark of true intimacy, there are times when unburdening yourself results in cruel and unnecessary information that then burdens your mate.’ According to Winter, confessing should depend on the type of infidelity. For example, if the cheating was a one-off occurrence that was possibly fuelled by alcohol, Winter suggests refraining from telling your partner as it will only hurt them. ‘Think twice before revealing an interlude you can barely remember the next day,’ she advised. ‘This confession can only create harm, not good. Commit to moderation and learn your limits of indulgence.’ If you were having an affair, however, Winter explains that this is a different case entirely and recommends going to therapy before coming clean. ‘This was a choice made repeatedly that diverted your love and sexual expression away from your partner,’ she said. ‘[It indicates] a problem exists within the relationship, or within yourself.’ She added: ‘Express your personal needs within the relationship, and address the issues that are out of balance.’ She also explained that a therapist can help formulate the language to use if you ultimately confess. RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR Everything we know about The Crown season 5 Aldi s exercise equipment is on sale with up to 50% off The best Halloween events for 2022 across the UK Popular in Life The You magazine team reveal their New Year s resolutions December 31, 2021 Susannah Taylor The TLC tools your body will love January 23, 2022 How to stop living in fear February 6, 2022 Susannah Taylor My pick of the fittest leggings February 27, 2022 Women’ s Prize for Fiction 2022 winner announced June 17, 2022 These BBC dramas are returning for a second series June 30, 2022 Susannah Taylor gives the lowdown on nature s little helper – CBD April 17, 2022 The baby names that are banned across the world April 27, 2022 The Queen has released her own emojis May 26, 2022 Sally Brompton horoscopes 27th June-3rd July 2022 June 26, 2022 Popular CategoriesFood2704Life2496Fashion2240Beauty1738Celebrity1261Interiors684 Sign up for YOUMail Thanks for subscribing Please check your email to confirm (If you don't see the email, check the spam box) Fashion Beauty Celebrity Life Food Privacy & Cookies T&C Copyright 2022 - YOU Magazine. All Rights Reserved