Experts say you should NEVER use this word when arguing with your partner - YOU Magazine Fashion Beauty Celebrity Health Life Relationships Horoscopes Food Interiors Travel Sign in Welcome!Log into your account Forgot your password? Password recovery Recover your password Search Sign in Welcome! Log into your account Forgot your password? Get help Password recovery Recover your password A password will be e-mailed to you. YOU Magazine Fashion Beauty Celebrity Health Life Relationships Horoscopes Food Interiors Travel Home Life Experts say you should NEVER use this word when arguing with your partner By You Magazine - November 2, 2018 Arguments are inevitable in most relationships and naturally, there are some phrases that are more conflict triggering than others. But according to new research, some particular words have been found to be a recipe for disaster when arguing with your partner. Getty Images Experts have revealed that the term ‘if’ is surprisingly the worst thing to say during an argument. This is because when used in sentences like ‘I’m sorry if’, the word can be seen to dismiss your partner’s grievances and implies that your apology isn’t actually genuine. Even worse, however, is the term ‘should’ when you used in phrases such as ‘you should have thought about that in the first place’ or ‘you should know that already.’ According to the research published in Psychology Today, this is more problematic than any swear word or insult. Jeffrey Bernstein, who conducted the research, explains why saying: ‘we tend to ‘should’ all over our partners. Even if we think we’re only doing so in the privacy of our own minds, it can come out in our tone or actions. Getty Images ‘Thinking should about someone you love, or being on the receiving end of a ‘should,’ creates negative energy and, over time, can be toxic for any relationship, especially a loving one.’ He also explained that we shouldn’t even say the word in our own heads before, after or during an argument as it can create negative energy over time and ultimately lead to a toxic relationship. Instead, Bernstein recommends rephrasing. ‘Instead of ‘you should know how I feel,’ try saying ‘I would like you to please hear me out on this’,’ he said. ‘Instead of ‘you shouldn’t bring that up,’ try saying ‘I would like to consider what you are saying. Please let me sit with it for a little while before I respond.’ Now, that may sounds pretty straight-forward in theory but we all know that things can always become slightly more tricky when you’re in a heated discussion. But we’ll definitely be taking his advice on board! RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR Everything we know about The Crown season 5 Aldi s exercise equipment is on sale with up to 50% off The best Halloween events for 2022 across the UK Popular in Life The You magazine team reveal their New Year s resolutions December 31, 2021 Susannah Taylor The TLC tools your body will love January 23, 2022 How to stop living in fear February 6, 2022 Susannah Taylor My pick of the fittest leggings February 27, 2022 Women’ s Prize for Fiction 2022 winner announced June 17, 2022 These BBC dramas are returning for a second series June 30, 2022 Susannah Taylor gives the lowdown on nature s little helper – CBD April 17, 2022 The baby names that are banned across the world April 27, 2022 The Queen has released her own emojis May 26, 2022 Sally Brompton horoscopes 27th June-3rd July 2022 June 26, 2022 Popular CategoriesFood2704Life2496Fashion2240Beauty1738Celebrity1261Interiors684 Sign up for YOUMail Thanks for subscribing Please check your email to confirm (If you don't see the email, check the spam box) Fashion Beauty Celebrity Life Food Privacy & Cookies T&C Copyright 2022 - YOU Magazine. All Rights Reserved