Rosie Green I found love – and lost followers - YOU Magazine Fashion Beauty Celebrity Health Life Relationships Horoscopes Food Interiors Travel Sign in Welcome!Log into your account Forgot your password? Password recovery Recover your password Search Sign in Welcome! Log into your account Forgot your password? Get help Password recovery Recover your password A password will be e-mailed to you. YOU Magazine Fashion Beauty Celebrity Health Life Relationships Horoscopes Food Interiors Travel Home Life Relationships Rosie Green I found love – and lost followers By Rosie Green - May 29, 2022 The boyfriend and I have reached a relationship milestone that was certainly not one I encountered when I met my ex-husband at university back in the 1990s: we have gone Instagram official. There is now a snapshot on my grid of me lying on his bare chest for all to see. The time taken to achieve said shot: 30 minutes. He was very patient and somewhat bemused by the process. View this post on Instagram A post shared by R O S I E G R E E N (@lifesrosie) There were all kinds of considerations I had to factor in. He didn’t want his face in it, I wanted to look semi decent and the picture could neither look too porn-y nor too prissy. We ended up in some contorted positions and there was some crushing of his crown jewels. All this was not helped by being a few G&Ts down. The next day, when I came to press ‘post’ my hand was shaking. It felt like a big deal. The only other time I have done this on my post-divorce dating journey, the relationship ended approximately 24 hours later. (I already knew things were going south, but I had promised him we could go public so I followed through. In hindsight, that wasn’t my smartest decision.) I hit send when we were on a plane, just about to take off to come home from a minibreak. By the time we landed I had many lovely messages from friends and followers, all happy that I had found love. A few showed an appreciation of the boyfriend’s tanned torso. But a few days later I noticed my follower count had decreased significantly. I try not to let these things affect me because I know if you link your self-esteem to a number of likes from strangers you’re on a hiding to nothing ‒ but still it felt a bit weird. David Venni I recall an influencer telling me that posting pictures of herself on a beach meant a sure-fire slew of ‘unfollows’. With my holiday spam and new loved-up status, I think I had come across as smug and it spelt a popularity dive. Why do some connections– whether online or in real life– suffer when you get coupled up? I found it interesting when people were unkind about Kourtney Kardashian and her public displays of affection with (now new husband) Travis Barker. Although I’m not suggesting anyone take life advice from the Kardashians, she later said of her new relationship: ‘Let’s not hate on a girl who knows what she deserves.’ Would people prefer to see me heartbroken and sad? When you’re going through tough times it’s hard to see someone else happy. And if you are single and your friend starts a new relationship it can feel like a threat to your friendship. When my ex-husband and I got together, his rugby mates were merciless in their ‘banter’. For my ex, there were all kinds of drinking penalties meted out for being the only one with a girlfriend. There’s also the scene in the movie Bridesmaids where Lillian confides in her best friend Annie about her engagement, then calls her fiancé and tells him ‘she’s so happy’. To which Annie mutters ‘I’m not’. At least Annie voices it – for many of us (and I know, I’ve been there too) we push those feelings down because we know it’s not gracious or fair. In person we might be polite, but distant. Online it’s easy to just hit unfollow. But if my marriage split has taught me anything, it’s just how important – no, how essential – platonic and familial love is. So to any of my heartbreak crew feeling unnerved, here’s a promise. Yes, I may have a new mister, but I’ll always be here for my sisters. @lifesrosie Read more of Rosie Green’s columns here RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR Rosie Green Will this be the winter of our discontent Rosie Green Want to find true love Follow your nose Rosie Green I have a love rival – his phone DON' T MISS Fiona Bruce Sometimes I struggle not to cry November 14, 2021 17 beautiful 2021 diaries to help you to look forward to December 4, 2020 Why women leave men for women What’ s fuelling the rise of April 28, 2019 Hollywood veteran Laura Linney on plastic surgery friendship and her stellar July 3, 2017 You can shop the khaki jumpsuit from Holly Willoughby’ s new M& S July 17, 2019 The secrets and lies behind this happy family photo April 11, 2021 It’ s cocktail hour Olly Smith’ s cocktail recipes and Eleanor Maidment s canapé November 14, 2021 BBC One has revealed its Christmas TV schedule and there’ s lots December 2, 2020 YOU Beauty Box August Reviews August 1, 2017 Rome has been named the cheapest major city to visit in August 7, 2019 Popular CategoriesFood2704Life2496Fashion2240Beauty1738Celebrity1261Interiors684 Sign up for YOUMail Thanks for subscribing Please check your email to confirm (If you don't see the email, check the spam box) Fashion Beauty Celebrity Life Food Privacy & Cookies T&C Copyright 2022 - YOU Magazine. All Rights Reserved