23 Pissed-Off Confessions From A Scottish Tour GuideSkip To ContentHomepageSign InSearch BuzzFeedSearch BuzzFeedlol Badge Feedwin Badge Feedtrending Badge FeedCalifornia residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data.Do Not Sell My Personal Information 2022 BuzzFeed, Inc PressRSSPrivacyConsent PreferencesUser TermsAd ChoicesHelpContactSitemapPosted on 20 Oct 2017 23 Pissed-Off Confessions From A Scottish Tour Guide "OUTLANDER ISN'T REAL!" Phew, sorry, we needed to get that off our chests. by Hilary MitchellBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1 Our job means we re outside most of the day so we inevitably end up getting soaked all the time View this photo on Instagram Instagram: @taysidethomson On the bright side, tourists rarely want to go traipsing around looking at impressive landmarks when it's pissing it down, so we can hide with a coffee. 2 Although the haar and mist is trickier to deal with Twitter: @ytfcbadger / Creative Commons It's hard to give a tour of Scotland when you can't see anything. 3 People constantly show up for tours that involve a lot of walking in unsuitable shoes View this photo on Instagram Instagram: @featherlessflight Not sure if you're aware, but most of Scotland is hilly, rugged, and covered in mountains. Heels and flip-flops really aren't a good idea. 4 Speaking of walking we end up doing a lot of extremely exhausting climbs and hikes Mrs.Gunslinger @WhiskeyTangoJen 1300 of these bad boys today. #Stairs #TourGuideProblems 10:37 PM - 05 Apr 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite "Hey Tam, you OK to do the Devil's Staircase tour today?" "Er, sure. Why's it called the Devil's Staircase?" *Tam runs away, laughing / high fiving the other guides.* "Oh." 5 And no matter how good our shoes are we end up with feet that feel like they ve been beaten with sticks View this photo on Instagram Instagram: @hauntedhobbit And we get jealous of European cities that allow Segway tours. That would be bliss. Maybe we can get tourists to push us round in a shopping trolley instead. 6 We ve been verbally abused in nearly every language Twitter: @1974Hamilton It doesn't matter if we can't understand the words; the tone of voice is pretty clear, as is the arm-waving and yelling. Sorry our tour is full, or it's cold, or our bus broke down, or Scotland has just generally failed to meet your expectations. Please stop shouting. 7 We get asked some pretty dumb questions Twitter: @LitheClayZebu It's OK to ask us things, that's our job, but we're not psychic. "Do you know if it'll rain" (when booking a tour a month in advance), "is Edinburgh Castle real?" Hmm. 8 And if you have questions please for the love of god save them up for a quiet moment Twitter: @SavantiKnowles Other people didn't come on this tour to hear you shout things like "DO YOU HAVE WI-FI IN SCOTLAND?" or "HAVE YOU SEEN THE LOCH NESS MONSTER?" 9 Please don t hit on us while we re trying to do our job Twitter: @sydneyy_kate Even if you're cute, it can feel a bit creepy. We're obliged to spend time with you, especially if it's a week-long tour. Just be nice to us instead; don't come on strong. 10 And we get a bit tired of hearing OMG your accent is sooooo cute Say something Scottish Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF NBC "Er, hello?" "Aww! Say it again so I can Snapchat it." "No." "Aww!" 11 While at the same time complaining that they can t understand us and to speak more clearly Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Studio Canal / Giphy Er, sorry, but you're in Scotland and I have a Scottish accent. I can't do much about that, ya bam. 12 Week-long tours mean seriously long days beccagrawl @beccagrawl When the group says they want to add some extra time to the itinerary after a 13 hour day. #tourguideproblems 11:57 PM - 27 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite Plus, you're usually staying in hostels, so you can't get away from your group. Even if you like them (and we usually do), you need some time to decompress after a day of being asked what kind of vegetable a haggis is, etc. 13 Not to mention frustrating traffic jams View this photo on Instagram Instagram: @sasuloves "Sorry everyone, looks like we'll be here for a while." 14 We can t give you a refund because of the midges Skye Ghillie @skyeghillie An introduction to highland salmon fishing for Kean from Michigan. And the midges! #FlyFishing #Salmon #Skye 09:13 PM - 22 Aug 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite Sorry. But we can lend you some Jungle Formula and try to find breezy places to show you. Which is why we spend so much time at the top of hills and cliffs. 15 Also sorry if this hurts but OUTLANDER ISN T REAL AND NEITHER IS JAMIE FRASER Facebook: herdreamvacation And we can't take you to the standing stones of Craigh na Dun because they don't exist. 16 We get a sixth sense for strange photo opportunities Maria Reynolds @The21stCMariaR Tour Guide Always Builds In 10 Minutes For Everyone In Group To Mount Cannon Like Horse https://t.co/M9avCLBori #tourguideproblems 02:43 AM - 05 May 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite If we're going to a castle, people will want a selfie with the castle in the background, and with each and every kilted statue, plus they'll want to sit on the cannons. We just put up with it and take photos of them when they ask. 17 We have to build in a lot of extra time for people to take photos of cute guys in kilts as well Twitter: @UndisScot It's fine, don't mind us (or the privacy of the person you're photographing). 18 Also we re often surprised by the weird things you choose to take photos of Twitter: @laurajdlawson "You want me to take your photo in front of this Burger King to prove that they have Burger Kings in Scotland? Really? OK." 19 It would be nice if you could put your phones down every so often though Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Giphy I mean, are you ever going to look at that blurry video you took out of the rain-streaked bus window instead of listening to us tell you about Scottish history? No. 20 We want the ground to open and swallow us up when our tour group act inappropriately Facebook: invernesstours Guys, don't go on a Culloden tour only to spend a load of time talking loudly, laughing about the battle, and taking selfies with the graves. It's not cool. 21 Although having said that we won t put up with anyone being shitty to our tourists Twitter: @LeeBaillie_ We're too protective. You'd be surprised how many locals get angry when they see a group of people in "I LOVE OHIO" T-shirts taking photos. Er, they're allowed to come here on holiday, you don't have to grumble at them or push them out of the way. 22 At the end of the day we love showing off our awesome country and making people happy Twitter: @Bordersjourneys We get to spend time in some awesome places too. 23 And we hope you come back soon Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF NBC Please bring some sensible footwear, though. 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