44 Genuinely Funny Tweets British People Need Now More Than EverSkip To ContentHomepageSign InSearch BuzzFeedSearch BuzzFeedlol Badge Feedwin Badge Feedtrending Badge FeedCalifornia residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data.Do Not Sell My Personal Information 2022 BuzzFeed, Inc PressRSSPrivacyConsent PreferencesUser TermsAd ChoicesHelpContactSitemapPosted on 4 Apr 2017 44 Genuinely Funny Tweets British People Need Now More Than Ever Honestly, what else have we got?! by Robin EddsBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1 Ben @0point5twins Busy morning so far, updating all my Euros 07:38 AM - 28 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 2 JoeOliver @joe99oliver You from south london? 06:54 PM - 21 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 3 Alex Andreou @sturdyAlex This entire shelf of own-brand cereals sounds like an old English army Major, trying to find a euphemism for gay me… https://t.co/eRVPVpxYVD 10:31 AM - 16 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 4 Jake Lambert @LittleLostLad I've got a Blur alarm clock, so I always wake up listening to Park Life, except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustmen. 11:50 AM - 02 Apr 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 5 Glenn Moore @TheNewsAtGlenn I like to think that's just how she walks. 11:38 AM - 07 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 6 Bea_ker @bea_ker Smashing Pumpkins is my favourite: 1) band 2) phrase used by an upper middle class British father to praise his two young children 06:06 AM - 21 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 7 Ken Shabby @MrKenShabby In this photo Theresa May looks like she is being treated at the roadside after a minor traffic collision. 04:51 PM - 20 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 8 James Blunt @JamesBlunt Anyone want a signed set list of mine from 2006? 09:41 AM - 20 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 9 Mimsy @RiffRaff1971 Wasn't it good, Oh so good, Wasn't he fine, Oh so fine, Isn't madness he can't be mine 12:37 PM - 12 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 10 Garth Jennings @GarthJennings Note to Las Vegas airport. Are you aware you've used Nick Clegg on your maintenance posters? 05:04 PM - 16 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 11 Chuck Thomas @chuckthomasuk It's pronounced "Bouquet". 10:49 AM - 15 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 12 Gregor Ford @GregorJFord Never sell a golf club on Facebook to someone from East Kilbride! 05:02 PM - 30 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 13 beth @sticktoyourgxns autoglass: autoglass repair me: autoglass replace 03:28 PM - 20 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 14 Simon Pegg @Simon_Pegg ... Hey Jude 08:41 PM - 30 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 15 Richard Osman @richardosman If we do go to war with Spain we should attack between 2 and 4 in the afternoon. 11:58 AM - 02 Apr 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 16 Kim @kimbstruck Woah, black Betty 11:21 PM - 21 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 17 cluedont @cluedont A rare glimpse of an inner-city bollard charmer in action. 04:45 PM - 29 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 18 hannah pickup @madeforpickup imagine if toast was a4 size 09:25 PM - 29 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 19 Gregor @mrgregorallan Day 1 v Day 14 of your all inclusive holiday. 12:10 AM - 25 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 20 ryan @ryanrochford1 its mad to think that if you buy a triple sandwich at Tesco, someone else is eating the other half of the same sandwich 02:13 PM - 28 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 21 Paul_Ed @eddo75 Throwback to when Jim Bowen got caught by Boba Fett 10:42 AM - 22 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 22 Billy Herrera @BilboRocky After you stay the night with Arsene Wenger 08:48 AM - 28 Feb 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 23 Periwinkle Jones @peachesanscream Women who say getting married was the best day of their life have obviously never had 2 Kitkats fall out of a vending machine by mistake. 10:20 AM - 10 Jun 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 24 Tom @tdawks Shag garlic, marry ginger 01:13 PM - 27 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 25 Baz @bazlyons For just a second there I thought someone had left Trump out in the rain. 11:58 PM - 22 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 26 Craig Deeley @craiguito "Hahaha. Yeah, I get that a lot. It's Alan, actually" 10:19 AM - 25 Jun 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 27 Jack Bernhardt @jackbern23 REPORTER, WALKING UP REGENT ST: one can only imagine what Londoners are thinking now LONDONERS: why is this prick walking SO SLOWLY 09:30 AM - 23 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 28 Jason Hazeley @JasonHazeley How to play: before leaving any office, write a load of absurd bollocks on the whiteboard for the next lot to puzzl… https://t.co/CO2fVyb8hZ 03:36 PM - 15 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 29 Laurence Simpson @enterstageleft At this time of year, spare a thought for all the tireless volunteers who have to shift the stones forward an hour… https://t.co/DK3wirM1L5 12:38 PM - 25 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 30 Trundle @trundleforth Yes that's a sausage on a model train going back and forth in the butcher's window. #Sheringham 04:29 PM - 30 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 31 Nick Harvey @mrnickharvey • Buy pack of Waitrose baby wipes. • Open it. • Pull out wipe. • BABY CHEF! 08:00 PM - 09 Jan 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 32 Steven Sheil @SSheil Oh, it walks too? That's....comforting. 03:06 PM - 28 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 33 Bea_ker @bea_ker Have... have you got any from a cow 12:00 AM - 05 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 34 Ahir Shah @AhirShah Hello, I am from Britain, you know, the one that got tricked by a bus 01:45 PM - 08 Feb 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 35 Tom Richardson @TomRichardson Another lacklustre effort from Enid Blyton 01:42 AM - 22 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 36 Andrew PM Hunt @andrewpmhunt A very smart friend of mine (@cachoothatswho) pointed out that our cactus print looks exactly like this promo shot… https://t.co/6nXcA8N34Y 10:18 AM - 21 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 37 Dan Douglas @dandouglas fuck off only Weetabix is allowed to be in landscape 07:35 PM - 30 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 38 Gary Williamson @gazwilliamson Went inty a cake shop. Boy said all cakes £1. A said can a get that one. He said that's £2. A said £2? He said aye that's Madeira cake 03:07 PM - 02 Apr 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 39 vanessa @_vanessaeliza my favourite song by The Smiths 11:18 PM - 18 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 40 James Houston Online @1030 Theresa canny handle Scottish hash. 05:39 PM - 03 Apr 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 41 Anthony Zacharzewski @anthonyzach Neighbours described the United Kingdom as a "quiet, well-mannered country" that "kept itself to itself". 04:17 PM - 02 Apr 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 42 Unnamed Insider @Unnamedinsider "And that is why I have decided to accept an invitation to become Angela Merkel's cat" #Article50 09:15 AM - 29 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 43 el cheapo @flvral wow I must have missed the announcement when minimum wage was raised to £93 million an hour thanks Theresa May knew… https://t.co/TZtdEL1V2z 09:37 PM - 18 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 44 Andrew Ellis @Ellis_Samizdat Britain 2017. 11:10 PM - 13 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite Share This ArticleFacebook PinterestTwitterMailLink BuzzFeed DailyKeep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.