Celebs Go Dating's Anna Williamson on getting out of a relationship rut Fashion Beauty Celebrity Health Life Relationships Horoscopes Food Interiors Travel Sign in Welcome!Log into your account Forgot your password? Password recovery Recover your password Search Sign in Welcome! Log into your account Forgot your password? Get help Password recovery Recover your password A password will be e-mailed to you. YOU Magazine Fashion Beauty Celebrity Health Life Relationships Horoscopes Food Interiors Travel Home Celebrity Celebs Go Dating’ s Anna Williamson tells us how to get out of a relationship rut By Georgia Green - March 31, 2022 We’ve all had a rough ride the past two years, and couples faced their own unique set of challenges throughout the pandemic. While some thrived in rediscovering their partnership through slowing down the pace of life and removing exterior distractions, others struggled – but Celebs Go Dating‘s Anna Williamson says that’s OK. The television presenter, life coach and relationship guru has partnered with Sainsbury’s on their newly-launched Inspired to Cook ingredients range. With 42 per cent* of long-term couples admitting the spark has gone from their relationship and 30 per cent believing they are in a rut, Anna is on a mission to help couples reignite the spark by getting them in the kitchen. Here, Anna shares her tips on how to get out of a relationship rut… Sainsbury’s Hi Anna! How would you say the past two years have impacted our relationships? Undoubtedly, the last couple years have been the biggest test to relationships I’ve ever come across professionally and personally. Couples have struggled; some have thrived, but a lot have unfortunately not. The secret to the success of a great relationship is an interdependent one – where you have your own activities and hobbies and do things by yourself with your own friends, but also carve out time to be together as a couple. The couples that didn’t work out in the pandemic were mostly ones that already had a lot of cracks, and that forced time together suddenly made it very apparent that actually that relationship had more problems than they realised. Through the stress, anxiety and pressure we were all facing, some relationships didn’t have strong enough foundations to survive it. And now that life’s getting busy again, it’s important not to put our romantic relationship at the bottom of the pile. What’s the most common relationship gripe you’re hearing from couples right now? Not prioritising each other enough. The most common gripe I hear in relationships is ‘I don’t feel loved,’ ‘I don’t feel like they make an effort,’ and ‘I don’t feel like they prioritise me.’ One in 10 people have gone more than a whole year without wining and dining their partner, over half would secretly love their partner to surprise them with a home-cooked meal and another 50 per cent would prefer to be cooked for than receive a flashy present. It’s the simplest things in relationships that mean the most. Love is an action, it’s a verb – it isn’t just saying ‘I love you’, it’s showing it. Sainsbury’s When a couple tells you they’re in a rut, what do you suggest to them? First of all, it’s about working out what is that rut. Almost 10 times out of 10, it’s because the communication has waned. So the first thing I tell people is to step back and view their partner as just them, stripping away all the annoyances, irks and grievances. A great way to do this is to take a couple back to when they first met. It strips away the present annoyances and drills down into what made you fall in love with that person. And then I remind couples that they’re friends, not enemies. It’s easy to get defensive in a relationship and think you’re the victim. But by establishing what you love about that person and working out where the communication has broken down (because somewhere, it has), it will help you kickstart making things better and getting out of that rut. So if the communication has broken down between a couple, how do you suggest they get over that? Within a relationship can actually be the hardest space to have a really honest conversation, especially if the couple has been dancing over it for a long time. My top tip is to write a letter. It’s the best way to get something out of your head and into words in a succinct way. The written word is powerful because it can be referred back to and doesn’t disappear into thin air. Often in a conversation, we can forget the point, feel nervous or the other person makes a face that annoys us, but when we write down exactly how we feel and give it to them to read in their own time, they won’t feel like they’ve been put on the spot and it opens up a dialogue in a much more paced environment where there isn’t any bickering. And be vulnerable with it. If you feel a bit of wally at first or aren’t sure where to start, just be your authentic self and your partner will hopefully reciprocate in the same way. Sainsbury’s What’s your go-to low effort date night idea? Cooking is one of the simplest, easiest and most cost-effective date nights you can have. It’s very intimate and you can make it special – crack open a bottle of wine, put on some music, ditch your phones and the very act of just focusing on cooking will bring you together because you’re subconsciously working as a team. Any activity done as a couple is good and cooking is one of the easiest ones to do. Even if you think you can’t cook, everyone can learn or follow a recipe. When my husband and I cook together we always end up having a laugh. It reduces stress and it’s actually really sexy – good food gets you into bed. What’s the one relationship myth that you wish everyone knew wasn’t true? A happy couple never argues – that’s just not true. A healthy couple bickers and has disagreements, because you are two different people and two different people come with different opinions, attitudes and values in life. It means you care because you’re trying to get your point across or you’re trying to say how important something is to you. A couple that doesn’t argue is a worry because you wonder what’s going on there? Have they just checked out and so can’t even be bothered to argue? And finally, who has been the most rewarding celebrity to work with on Celebs go Dating? I’d probably say Curtis Pritchard. He came in pretty broken and came out such a strong powerhouse, knowing who he was. Also Alison Hammond – the most incredibly rewarding human being to even just be in the presence of, she just throws herself into it. Also Ulrika Jonsson, a lady who came with a lot of headlines and assumptions attached to her, which, obviously, we wanted to completely unpack. It was wonderful to help her go from being quite jaded in love and unsure of who she was and emerging as the wonderfully kick-ass, incredible powerhouse that she is. Sainsbury’s has launched Couples’ Cooking Counselling Sessions hosted by Anna Williamson, taking place on 7 April. For £5, you’ll receive a meal kit using ingredients from the supermarkets’ new Inspired to Cook range to make together during the session. 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