Editor's letter: People? They’re not as scary as they seem! - YOU Magazine Fashion Beauty Celebrity Health Life Relationships Horoscopes Food Interiors Travel Sign in Welcome!Log into your account Forgot your password? Password recovery Recover your password Search Sign in Welcome! Log into your account Forgot your password? Get help Password recovery Recover your password A password will be e-mailed to you. YOU Magazine Fashion Beauty Celebrity Health Life Relationships Horoscopes Food Interiors Travel Home Life Editor’ s letter People They re not as scary as they seem By Jo Elvin - March 6, 2022 One of my very close girlfriends is someone who used to completely and utterly terrify me. She is one of the most successful people you could think of in her chosen field. She knows everyone. She has a figure that women half her age would kill for, and the most flawlessly elegant wardrobe I’ve ever seen. She’s beautiful, she works hard and she’s very, very happy. We would bump into each other at various work events and be polite, say hello and quickly, awkwardly move on. One evening though, inevitably, we found ourselves placed next to each other at a formal dinner. Oh my, the nerves. How could I fill ten minutes with chat that was intelligent or entertaining enough for this fearsome woman, let alone for the whole evening that stretched before us? I fully expected that within the first half-hour, she’d flick her hand in some sort of secret, prearranged gesture to signal that she needed to be moved away from dull old me. So I did what I always do when I feel intimidated: I overcompensated with an overshare overdrive. I was already convinced she thought I was a right goose, so I launched into a litany of self-deprecating stories about my clumsiness, my insecurities about what people who work with me probably think of me, the times I’ve dropped the ball as a working mum. It was the all-you-can-eat special deal at the ‘I Am Crap’ buffet. To my amazement, she cried laughing. And she matched me story for story. We howled as we tried to top each other’s tales of times we’ve felt ‘less than’. And this woman, who I had long admired but been afraid of, shocked me when she said that until that evening, she’d always found me intimidating. We laughed all over again when we realised we’d both thought the other one was a cold fish, because we were acting so weirdly and nervously around each other. Good grief, women can really be mad sometimes. It taught me the lesson that our cover star Lucy Boynton discusses in her interview. We’re so preoccupied with our own insecurities that we often believe the myth that everyone else is confident and in control. I could never have guessed that the woman in my story – one of the most inspiring people I have ever met – could possibly be wrestling with her own inner dialogue telling her she wasn’t enough. And not in a billion years would I imagine anyone could see me as remotely intimidating, because I know all the ridiculous insecurities whizzing around my head at all hours of the day. But of course, no one else is ever privy to that. So I’ve learnt, as much as I possibly can, to ignore that voice telling me that maybe I’m not worthy enough to speak in this meeting, or sit at that table. I’ve generally found that the more I just be myself, the more relaxed others feel to do the same. If I hadn’t, I’d have missed out on a friendship that now means the world to me. Enjoy the issue. Editor s picks A few things I’m coveting this week 10% of sales go to gynae charity The Lady Garden Foundation. Boots, £90, lechameau.com Wear your star sign colourfully. Bracelet, £60, Roxanne Assoulin, net-a-porter.com So cute, and £5 from each sale goes to Women’s Aid. Beret, £35, marybenson.london RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR Everything we know about The Crown season 5 Aldi s exercise equipment is on sale with up to 50% off The best Halloween events for 2022 across the UK Popular in Life The You magazine team reveal their New Year s resolutions December 31, 2021 Susannah Taylor The TLC tools your body will love January 23, 2022 How to stop living in fear February 6, 2022 Susannah Taylor My pick of the fittest leggings February 27, 2022 Women’ s Prize for Fiction 2022 winner announced June 17, 2022 These BBC dramas are returning for a second series June 30, 2022 Susannah Taylor gives the lowdown on nature s little helper – CBD April 17, 2022 The baby names that are banned across the world April 27, 2022 The Queen has released her own emojis May 26, 2022 Sally Brompton horoscopes 27th June-3rd July 2022 June 26, 2022 Popular CategoriesFood2704Life2496Fashion2240Beauty1738Celebrity1261Interiors684 Sign up for YOUMail Thanks for subscribing Please check your email to confirm (If you don't see the email, check the spam box) Fashion Beauty Celebrity Life Food Privacy & Cookies T&C Copyright 2022 - YOU Magazine. All Rights Reserved