37 Things That Scottish Mums Say That Mean Something Totally DifferentSkip To ContentHomepageSign InSearch BuzzFeedSearch BuzzFeedlol Badge Feedwin Badge Feedtrending Badge FeedCalifornia residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data.Do Not Sell My Personal Information 2022 BuzzFeed, Inc PressRSSPrivacyConsent PreferencesUser TermsAd ChoicesHelpContactSitemapPosted on 31 Jul 2017 37 Things That Scottish Mums Say That Mean Something Totally Different "Och, it's like Blackpool Illuminations in here." – One light is on. by Hilary MitchellBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink Littlebee80 / Getty Images / BuzzFeed 1. "Whit's fir ye'll no go by ye." – You'll probably never get a job but I thought I should at least try to cheer you up. 2. "Did ye aye?" – I know you're talking shite. 3. "A wee birdie told me…" – Your siblings have grassed you up yet again. 4. "Beggars cannae be choosers." – If you don't eat this I'll throw a strop. 5. "If you eat yer crusts yer hair'll go curly!" – Please for the love of god clean your plate so I don't have to do as much washing up. 6. "There's fruit in the bowl." – I don't care that you're hungry. 7. "Dinner's ready." – Dinner won't be ready for 40 minutes. Please sit and wait. 8. "I havnae sat down all day!" – Apart from to watch Loose Women for several hours. 9. "Och, it's like Blackpool Illuminations in here." – One light is on. 10. "Are ye even watching this?" – I know you are, but I want to watch Corrie. 11. "Och, ah dinnae ken." – Leave me alone while I watch Corrie. 12. "Good afternoon." – You slept until 2pm. I will shame you for it. 13. "De ye think this hoose cleans itself?" – There's one tiny bit of dust on the floor. 14. "What's for dinner? Shit with sugar on." – We're probably getting a takeaway. 15. "Who's that at this time?" – The phone is ringing and I think you're psychic. 16. "All ma money goes on you." – Apart from all the magazines and pinot grigio. 17. "Did ye get lost?" – You've been 30 seconds longer than I thought you'd be. 18. "Can you help me for two minutes?" – Can you help me for several hours? 19. "Put a jaiket on." – I'll only put the heating on if there's a new ice age, and even then it'll be on a one-hour timer. 22. "Dinnae fash yersel'." – Don't bother, you'll just mess it up anyway. 23. "You're looking awfy peely-wally." – I am going to force-feed you vitamins for weeks. 24. "Lang may yer lum reek." – I'm saying this because it's New Year, but I have no idea what it actually means. 25. "I'm just away oot for my messages." – I'm off to town where I will stop to speak to 103,930 other women, and then buy a pint of milk. 26. "Am gonnae wallap ye wan!" – I'm not going to hit you, but I am a tad miffed. 27. "Wake up, it's 8.30!" – It is at least an hour earlier than this, I just wanted to stress you out. 28. "Ken this..." – I'm about to go on the longest rant of all time. 29. "Hi hen, it's me." – I don't think you can recognise your own mum's voice. 30. "Ye treat this place like a hotel." – You very occasionally forget to wash up. 31. "I've seen it all before." – I have literally no respect for your privacy. 32. "Nobody does anything in this house apart fae me." – I don't give anybody else the chance to do anything, because I like complaining. 33. "You'll just do what you want anyway." – I can't be arsed to give you advice. 34. "What did your last slave die of?" – I can't be arsed to pass you the remote. 35. "Dinny greet or I’ll give you something to greet about." – I ran out of sympathy when you were about 2 years old. 36. "Do you want a cuppa?" – Please go and make me a cuppa. 37. "Gonnae no drink too much. Drive safe. Is your phone on flight mode? Be careful. Have ye got sunscreen? Take a jumper." – I love you. Share This ArticleFacebook PinterestTwitterMailLink BuzzFeed DailyKeep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.