32 Tweets So Funny You'll Almost Forget About 2017Skip To ContentHomepageSign InSearch BuzzFeedSearch BuzzFeedlol Badge Feedwin Badge Feedtrending Badge FeedCalifornia residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data.Do Not Sell My Personal Information 2022 BuzzFeed, Inc PressRSSPrivacyConsent PreferencesUser TermsAd ChoicesHelpContactSitemapPosted on 31 Jul 2017 32 Tweets So Funny You ll Almost Forget About 2017 You needed this. Trust us. by Robin EddsBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1 joey @joeyz95 When your straight friend Jean makes a funny joke 09:06 PM - 23 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 2 Ray @rayy_baybay Thanks for the clarification, Dad. 12:48 PM - 21 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 3 Emily Barry @EmiBarry "Wow 3 tattoos.. those are pretty permanent you know" Me: wow 3 kids... those are pretty damn permanent CAROL 02:51 AM - 26 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 4 ace @iamalishajo my ubereats delivery man decided to be a smart ass...... 10:27 PM - 17 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 5 Mark Lazerus @MarkLazerus Well, that doesn't seem like a proportional response. 11:02 PM - 25 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 6 Ben @islandniles That don't impress me much 11:04 AM - 21 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 7 childish sadbino @datassque yall tired of boiling water every time you make pasta? boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later. 02:47 AM - 30 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 8 Philly Byrne ? @PhilipNByrne When you're so high on dentist gas the Water Buffalo Of Drugs visits you. 03:26 PM - 18 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 9 some quack ? @hurlarious my fav colour is also hitler 07:59 PM - 23 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 10 Jessie Char @jessiechar Today, I flew on the set of a nightmare. 05:15 AM - 19 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 11 E-LOVE @BRUHNICEVIDEO We all deal with grief in different ways 07:01 PM - 14 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 12 Barnesy @3arnesy Delivery guy: Could I use your toilet? Me: Yes sure it's the door under the stairs. Delivery guy: Which one? Me: Er… https://t.co/GOtRgbkxsd 01:20 PM - 27 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 13 Purp @Purpdapurp "You lucky this man holding me back. Next time you say my moms neck game crazy he won't be here to save yo ass" 06:22 PM - 15 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 14 Brendan O'Hare @brendohare A simple way to help you remember how to spell "honey" 07:55 PM - 17 Jul 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 15 Geraint @geraintgriffith When sequels go bad... 05:56 AM - 10 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 16 Joel Willans @Joelwillans Riley, you're a genius. 09:08 AM - 30 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 17 Daniel @DannyDutch I'm no geologist but this is quite an interesting Rock formation. 06:57 PM - 25 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 18 A bi gal @abbynotabigail_ Me: Who needs antidepressants? I'll just listen to Hey Ya by Outkast daily Narrator: But things were not alright alright alright alright 04:26 AM - 22 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 19 Harry Moore @Harry_Moore_ more bad news for single people 12:40 PM - 19 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 20 goth turtle @dubstep4dads my mom asked me for a pic of ed sheeran and i tried to be funny and i edited it i didnt know she was gonna frame it… https://t.co/hjxeapKCI0 11:23 PM - 13 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 21 Matt Roller @rolldiggity When a witch says your tongue has to float in the middle of your mouth without touching anything or you'll die. 03:39 AM - 12 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 22 poikazansu @poika_ dont you just love slow burn 02:51 AM - 09 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 23 adult dark sheep @chaeronaea the four genders 10:50 PM - 28 Jun 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 24 rudy mustang @rudy_mustang Me: could i have a pepsi Waiter: is pepsi ok- OMG *eyes getting watery* finally Me: *smiling through tears* yeah *we kiss* 11:39 PM - 02 Jun 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 25 Ben McCool @BenMcCool Another juggler gives up on his dreams... 04:31 PM - 02 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 26 Deep Web Italian @Deno_Tron Roommate has date coming by later and asked me to clean bc he's not home. So I made a Princess D shrine in his room 01:05 AM - 01 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 27 Via Twitter: @psalmcarter 28 Anna @annagrayy Sideshow Bob's on the move 07:04 PM - 28 Jun 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 29 rat mic @loopzoop Me in court: your honor i would like to plead guilty as well as request the death penalty Judge: this....is a parking ticket.... 12:35 AM - 25 Jun 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 30 Molly Robbins @MCreativeCakes Text from mum - having trouble sticking lashes on without her glasses.. turns out she was trying to glue a dead fly… https://t.co/LkZ5ECF9uQ 07:21 AM - 29 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 31 Ian Kingston @IanJKingston WIFE: This is for a tweet isn't it... 01:00 PM - 22 May 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 32 Eric Thomas @EricThomas_311 Shark week is actually the safest time to go to the beach because all the sharks are busy being on TV 10:49 PM - 24 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite Share This ArticleFacebook PinterestTwitterMailLink BuzzFeed DailyKeep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.