New Year's Eve Jokes to Ring in 2022 With HumorHome > HumorSource: istock Start 2022 off Right With 26 New Year' s Eve JokesBy Pippa RagaDec. 29 2021, Updated 4:29 p.m. ET Is it just us or has 2021 been the weirdest year ever? After the, um ... experience ... of 2020, we thought 2021 was going to be a breeze, but it's honestly been kind of bonkers from start to finish. No matter what your 2021 looked like, we're hoping you're ready to embrace the new year and welcome 2022 to your life.Article continues below advertisement We're guessing that this year, you could use a good laugh to make sure you start the new year off on the right foot. That's why we found these jokes for you! Here are 26 New Year's Eve jokes that'll make for better conversation than sharing resolutions everyone knows you won't actually follow. Source: iStockArticle continues below advertisement New Year' s Eve Dad Jokes 1. My New Year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey. 2. Every year on New Year's Eve, when everyone's counting down the final 10 seconds to ring in the new year, I get up off the couch and stand up. I stand up and raise my left leg and just leave it raised for a little while until the countdown finishes and midnight strikes, so that I always start the new year off on the right foot. 3. New Year? I just got used to this last one! 4. My wife still hasn't told me what my New Year's resolutions are. 5. "I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year." — A dad on New Year's EveArticle continues below advertisement 6. A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. 7. My New Year's resolution is 1080p. New Year' s Eve One-Liners 8. If 2021 was a person, I'd sue him for pain and suffering and lost wages. 9. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions. 10. This New Year's I resolve to be less awesome since that is really the only thing I do in excess. Article continues below advertisement 11. My New Year's resolution is to break my New Year's resolutions. That way I succeed at something! 12. New Year's is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don't want you reusing last year's calendar. 13. My New Year's resolution is to help all my friends gain 10 pounds so I look skinnier. 14. I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter. 15. I love when they drop the ball in Times Square. It's a nice reminder of what I did all year. 16. My resolution was to read more so I put the subtitles on my TV. 17. An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.Article continues below advertisementSource: istock New Year' s Eve Jokes for Adults 18. On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, as the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.Article continues below advertisement 19. If you're born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a bang! 20. What happened to the Irish man who thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year? He gave up thinking. 21. Where can you find comedians on New Year's Eve? Waiting for the punchline. 22. A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, "Happy New Year, everybody." "It's June, you drunk," replies the waiter. The drunk man looks at his watch and says, "Oh my god, my wife is going to kill me! I have never been so late in my life!"Article continues below advertisement 23. Every New Year’s Day, I have the same question: “How did I get home?” 24. My brother's New Year's resolution is to move out of my parents' house. You'd think after 49 years, he'd try another one. 25. An iPhone and a firework were arrested on New Year's Eve. One was charged and the other was let off. 26. What do you call always wanting a date for New Year's Eve? Social Security. Happy 2022! Here's hoping this one will be better than the last — which is a pretty low bar to clear, if we're being honest!AdvertisementMore from Distractify Celebrating New Year's Eve as a Family Is Easier Than Ever New Year, New Meme: The Funniest New Year's Memes and Jokes Bartend Your New Year's Eve Bash With These Festive Cocktail Recipes Latest Humor News and UpdatesAdvertisementABOUT DistractifyAbout UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDMCASitemapCONNECT with DistractifyLink to Facebook Link to TwitterLink to InstagramContact us by Email Copyright 2022 Distractify. Distractify is a registered trademark. All Rights Reserved. People may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.