Getting Your Spouse or Partner to Exercise Menu Verywell Fit Nutrition Weight Management Nutrition Facts Nutrition Basics Diets Meal Plans Meal Delivery Services View All News Fitness and Nutrition What to Buy How We Test Products Fitness Gear Nutrition Products Tools Recipe Nutrition Calculator Weight Loss Calorie Goal BMI Calculator Body Fat Percentage Calculator Calories Burned by Activity Daily Calories Burned Pace Calculator About Us Editorial Process Meet Our Review Board Search Motivation Getting Your Spouse or Partner to Exercise By Paige Waehner Paige Waehner Paige Waehner is a certified personal trainer, author of the "Guide to Become a Personal Trainer"; and co-author of "The Buzz on Exercise & Fitness." Learn about our editorial process Updated on October 19, 2020 Reviewed Verywell Fit articles are reviewed by nutrition and exercise professionals. Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Learn more. by Heather Black, CPT Reviewed by Heather Black, CPT Heather Black, CPT is a NASM-certified personal trainer and owner of Heather Black Fitness & Nutrition where she offers remote and in-person training and nutrition coaching. Learn about our Review Board Print Peathegee Inc / Blend Images / Getty Images If there's one thing that's true for most relationships, it's this: You can't force someone to do something they don't want to do. Pushing too hard to influence another person's behavior often leads to problems, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like working out. Although you may have valid concerns about your loved one's well-being, there are right ways and wrong ways to address the issue. If you're dedicated to living an active lifestyle and your partner isn't, don't let exercise become a cause of strain and resentment. Instead, take a positive and productive approach to support your partner and encourage healthy habits. How to Learn to Love Exercise How to Promote Healthy Behaviors Some partners are more receptive to taking advice from their friends and family than others. You know your spouse best. If they're the type to get defensive or rebel against a friendly reminder to work out, maybe you need to try a more subtle approach. Let your partner know that you love and care about them. Invite them to participate in active events that don't feel like exercise (such as playing a game of tennis or going for a hike together). Instead of blaming your partner or making them feel bad about their choices, focus on acting as a positive influence. After all, no one wants to feel shamed or forced into exercise. Be a Good Role Model Nagging your partner to exercise is likely to backfire. Try focusing on your own behavior and wait to see whether this encourages your partner to do the same. Believe it or not, the simple act of being a good role model can have a big impact on the behavior of those around us. A study published in JAMA Internal Medicine found that having a partner who is physically active raises the odds (by a factor of five) that the other person will become physically active as well. Instead of telling your partner what to do, motivate them by doing well for yourself. Use Gentle Encouragement A little positive nudging will usually get you further than reprimanding or demanding your spouse to exercise. Invite your loved one on an after-dinner walk, not only as a healthy activity but also as a way to connect and spend quality time together. Offer to bring your partner to the gym, but don't try to guilt them into going with you. Make Exercise Fun Traditional exercise isn't for everyone. Perhaps your spouse would prefer to go on a bike ride, play basketball, go swimming, or take a walk in the park. Choose physical activities that are more about having fun together than about exercising. Fun At-Home Workouts to Try Double the Good If your partner isn't motivated to go to the gym, they might enjoy other ways of being active, like gardening, house painting, or even washing the car. Housework and outdoor projects are a form of exercise that can benefit your body, your wallet, and your living space. Put on music, get some supplies, and work together on chores that promote fitness. You don't even have to call it "exercise." Be Honest and Kind Rather than getting angry or annoyed with your spouse for not exercising, try talking to them about what's really bothering you. Perhaps you're worried about their health, and you want to live a long and happy life together. Maybe you want to understand what's truly holding them back from taking better care of themselves. Your partner may have underlying reasons that interfere with their desire or ability to exercise. Depression, stress, low self-esteem, or physical limitations could be holding them back. Understanding the root cause allows you to be more sympathetic and will improve your communication with each other. Take time to listen. You might be surprised about what you learn. How Exercise Benefits Your Relationship Everyone knows that healthy eating and exercise are good for us as individuals. However, we hear less about how exercising can benefit our relationship with our spouse. By remaining active as we get older, we're better able to keep up with our partner. If your partner has dreams of traveling the world, or raising grandchildren together, you'll want to be in the best shape possible to enjoy the memories to come. While exercise can't safeguard against every possible illness, it does a lot of good to boost our mood and help us stay mobile. Partners owe it to each other to take care of their health. Can Exercise Actually Improve Your Sex Life? A Word From Verywell Many people want to their partner to exercise more or make healthier choices, but simply demanding that they change isn't the best option. Perhaps the most effective plan is to be a good role model yourself. If your partner is reluctant to exercise, make sure to take time to listen; don't lecture. Couples who exercise together are often healthier and happier. Find fun ways to develop good habits as a team rather than making exercise feel like work. 1 Source Verywell Fit uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Wardle J, Steptoe A, Jackson S. The influence of partner’s behavior on health behavior change: The English Longitudinal Study of Ageing. JAMA Intern Med. 2015;175(3):385-392. doi:10.1001/jamainternmed.2014.7554 By Paige Waehner Paige Waehner is a certified personal trainer, author of the "Guide to Become a Personal Trainer," and co-author of "The Buzz on Exercise & Fitness." See Our Editorial Process Meet Our Review Board Share Feedback Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! What is your feedback? Other Helpful Report an Error Submit Related Articles What Are Morning Rituals and Why You Should Consider Using Them 8 Evidence-Based Reasons Why You Should Take a Lunch Break The Surprising Pros and Cons of Exercising With Your Sweetie How to Make Your Home Cardio Workout Worthwhile 10 Practices to Add to Your Morning Routine, And Why How Disordered Eating and Eating Disorders Differ and What You Need You Need to Know Why You May Want to Workout Less (and Move More) How to Create a Running Playlist, According to Running Coaches What Is Body Image? 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