MS and divorce Everyday Health
MS and divorce Everyday Health MenuNewslettersSearch Multiple Sclerosis
Trevis Important: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and not Everyday Health.See More NEWSLETTERS
MS and divorce
By Trevis GleasonFor Life With Multiple SclerosisReviewed: September 14, 2007Everyday Health BlogsFact-CheckedI've been seeing comments this month about the difficult topic of marital and relationship problems. You all know I take as many cues from your comments as possible as I have 156 of these blog entries to post every year! So let's talk about the ugly statistic that over 70 percent of MS marriages end in divorce. In the research I have done for this posting, I found that the divorce rate for couples with MS is actually about the same as (if not a little lower than) the general population. Did you know that? I didn't. I assumed that our rates must be significantly higher. That said, it may be that a divorce hits a person living with MS a little bit harder - not that anyone goes unscathed by the emotional impact of a disillusion. (Ha! Who came up with that legal term for divorce? Talk about a truism). According to Rosalyn Kalb, in her book, "MS; A Guide for Families;" the divorce rate may be lower for people with MS because of a couple of reasons; 1. A person with MS may stay in a bad relationship for fear of being alone with the illness. 2. Partners may stay with “sick” partners through a sense of duty. Some of you may know that I was married before. As a personal story, I was the one who bailed not long after my diagnosis. Maybe it was because I am a man, maybe it was because my mind was not acting "normally," maybe it was a lot of things. I've actually worked it out in years of therapy, but the point is: Divorce does happen in the lives of people affected by multiple sclerosis and it stinks. This time around, Caryn and I are proactively dealing with the vast unknowns of MS, and the other parts of a relationship. I think that is key; start working on potential issues before they come up. I know that many of you are in relationships which are tenuous; what interpersonal relationship isn't from time to time? I also hear from you that many are in rock solid spaces that you don't see changing for any reason. My questions this weekend are; how are you keeping the strong relationships strong? How are you dealing with issues that do come up? What if the worst does happen; are you able to live alone? Let's open up this can of partnership worms for a good ol' chat. Wishing you and your family the best of health. Cheers,Trevis Important: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and not Everyday Health.See More NEWSLETTERS