A Man's Guide to Menopause - Menopause Center - Everyday Health MenuNewslettersSearch Menopause A Man' s Guide to Menopause When your partner is going through menopause, it can be a stressful time for you, too. You can both survive if you know what to expect. By Jennifer Acosta ScottMedically Reviewed by Lindsey Marcellin, MD, MPHReviewed: August 27, 2012Medically ReviewedMany women don’t know what to expect when menopause starts — and because of this, their husbands and significant others can be even more clueless. As a woman approaches menopause, the stage of life where menstrual cycles permanently stop, hormone levels in her body can fluctuate, resulting in mood swings, tiredness, and bothersome menopause symptoms like hot flashes. With all of these changes, it can be difficult to figure out what to do — and what not to do — to keep both you and your partner happy and on an even keel. But there’s good news: You can get out of it alive, says Grace Gibbs, DO, an ob-gyn with Charlotte Women’s Health in Lansing, Mich. “There are some things that are a little bit harder for men to understand,” Dr. Gibbs says. “They often don’t quite get what we’re going through and how menopause can affect you as a whole. It’s about much more than just your period stopping.” How to Survive Her Menopause To help keep the peace at home, consider the following tips:Prepare for crabbiness. Unless you’re with one of the few lucky women who aren’t bothered with menopause symptoms, mood swings are likely. This happens as the female hormones estrogen and progesterone surge and ebb in the body. Grumpiness can also result from poor sleep, which menopausal women experience as they deal with hot flashes and night sweats. “When you don’t sleep well, everything is just kind of crazy,” Gibbs says. Flexibility is the key to dealing with mood swings, even the ones that seem to be caused by … nothing. If your partner is steamed because you brought home the wrong brand of milk, for example, give her some space instead of getting defensive. Likewise, if she’s sobbing at a cat food commercial, lend her a shoulder to cry on. And, perhaps most importantly, don’t complain if she turns the thermostat to just a few degrees above freezing. “Bundle up under a blanket if you have to,” Gibbs suggests.Be patient in the bedroom. Sex can, quite literally, be a sore spot for a woman going through menopause. As estrogen levels drop, the tissue in and around the vagina can dry out, making it more sensitive. “Estrogen makes the tissue soft and pliable,” Gibbs says. “When women go through menopause, it just gets paper-thin. They can get cuts just from using toilet paper.” Many women also tend to lose interest in sex during menopause because their levels of the male hormone testosterone, which helps fuel libido, can drop along with other hormones. “Women have it in small amounts, and it’s derived from some of the estrogen in our bodies,” Gibbs says. “So we actually lose a little of our testosterone, too.” The bottom line? Be patient. If your partner just isn’t in the mood (again), don’t press the issue. Most women’s libidos usually revive after menopause is complete. If she’s willing but has physical pain, suggest she talk to her doctor about vaginal estrogen creams to help relieve the dryness.Make her feel beautiful. Many women feel less than feminine as they go through menopause. Some mourn the loss of their reproductive abilities. Others may find their weight creeping up, even if they’re maintaining their normal diet and exercise routines. Add that to the constant hot flashes, — “the body’s function is in overdrive,” Gibbs says — and you’ve got a recipe for one sweaty, unhappy woman. To help improve your wife’s self-image, remind her that she looks great. You can also suggest a date night, a leisurely dinner out over a glass of wine, for example, or even just an evening on the couch with some movies or playing cards.Know that menopause is not forever. Menopause may seem like the bad gift that keeps on giving, but you can take comfort in knowing that things do get better. The transition into menopause can last up to eight years or so, but most women feel their symptoms most acutely for only about two years. “It does get better,” Gibbs says. “Things will go back to the way they were before. Just offer support. She’ll notice that, and appreciate it.” NEWSLETTERS Sign up for our Women' s Health Newsletter SubscribeBy subscribing you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. 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