Therapy for Grief: What You Need to Know Health ConditionsFeaturedBreast CancerIBD MigraineMultiple Sclerosis (MS)Rheumatoid ArthritisType 2 DiabetesSponsored TopicsArticlesAcid RefluxADHDAllergiesAlzheimer's & DementiaBipolar DisorderCancerCrohn's DiseaseChronic PainCold & FluCOPDDepressionFibromyalgiaHeart DiseaseHigh CholesterolHIVHypertensionIPFOsteoarthritisPsoriasisSkin Disorders and CareSTDsDiscoverWellness TopicsNutritionFitnessSkin CareSexual HealthWomen's HealthMental HealthSleepOriginal SeriesFresh Food FastDiagnosis DiariesYou’re Not AlonePresent TenseVideo SeriesYouth in FocusHealthy HarvestNo More SilenceFuture of HealthPlanHealth ChallengesMindful EatingSugar SavvyMove Your BodyGut HealthMood FoodsAlign Your SpineFind CarePrimary CareMental HealthOB-GYNDermatologistsNeurologistsCardiologistsOrthopedistsLifestyle QuizzesWeight ManagementAm I Depressed? A Quiz for TeensAre You a Workaholic?How Well Do You Sleep?Tools & ResourcesHealth NewsFind a DietFind Healthy SnacksDrugs A-ZHealth A-ZConnectFind Your Bezzy CommunityBreast CancerInflammatory Bowel DiseasePsoriatic ArthritisMigraineMultiple SclerosisPsoriasisFollow us on social mediaShopProducts by ConditionInsomniaStress ReliefBack PainNeck PainSleep ApneaHot SleepersAllergiesPain ReliefProduct ReviewsVitamins & SupplementsSleepMental HealthNutritionAt-Home TestingCBDMen’s HealthWomen’s HealthHealth ConditionsDiscoverPlanConnectShopSubscribe
Understanding Therapy for Grief and How It Can Help
Medically reviewed by Joslyn Jelinek, LCSW — By Sara Lindberg — Updated on October 16, 2022Share on PinterestKlaus Vedfelt/Getty ImagesWe’ve surpassed 530,000 COVID-related deaths in the United States, and many people are grieving a loss related to this pandemic. Whether you’re dealing with a pandemic-related loss or grieving a loss related to something else, finding a way to cope is critical. Grief counseling may help people of all ages process and cope with their feelings after experiencing a loss. In this article, we look at how grief can affect you, the stages of grief, and how therapy for grief can help. What is therapy for grief
Therapy for grief, or grief counseling as it is often called, is designed to help you process and cope with a loss — whether that loss is a friend, family member, pet, or other life circumstance. Grief affects everyone differently. It also affects people at different times. During the grieving process, you may experience sadness, anger, confusion, or even relief. It’s also common to feel regret, guilt, and show signs of depression. A licensed therapist, psychologist, counselor, or psychiatrist can provide therapy for grief. Seeing a mental health expert for grief and loss can help you process the feelings you’re experiencing and learn new ways to cope — all in a safe space. Grieving in stages
Grief generally follows stages or periods that involve different feelings and experiences. To help make sense of this process, some experts use the stages of grief. It’s worth noting that grief stages do not occur in a linear pattern and more than one stage can be seen together. The Kübler-Ross stages of grief model, created by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, was originally written about people dying, not about people grieving, but later, she wrote on applying the principles to the grieving process after a loss. There are five stages of grief under the Kübler-Ross model. These include:Denial. After the death of a loved one, it’s not uncommon to be in denial about what happened. This can help temporarily protect you from the overwhelming emotions that come with grieving. Anger. You may find that you are angrier than normal and direct your emotions at other people, including the person who died. It’s also possible to direct the anger toward yourself. Bargaining. When you move out of denial and anger, you may find a period where you create a lot of “if only” and “what if” statements. Depression. This is often called the “quiet” stage of the grieving process. You may experience overwhelming feelings of sadness or confusion. It’s common for your emotions to feel heavy during the depression stage, and you may want to isolate yourself from others. Acceptance. When you get to a point where you accept what happened and understand what it means in your life, you’ve reached the acceptance stage. Over the years, some experts expanded this model to include seven stages:shock and denialpain and guiltanger and bargaining depressionthe upward turnreconstruction and working throughacceptance and hope It’s important to note that the empirical evidence to support the stages of grief as a model is lacking, and, according to a 2017 review, some experts believe it may not be best when helping people going through bereavement. Kübler-Ross’s model was, after all, written to explore the stages that people who are dying and their families go through, not for people to use after death. One positive outcome of this model is that it emphasizes that grief has many dimensions, and it’s perfectly normal to experience grief through many feelings and emotions. When grief overwhelms
When grief is long lasting and interferes with daily life, it may be a condition known as prolonged grief disorder. According to the American Psychological Association, prolonged grief is marked by the following symptoms:pervasive yearning for the deceaseddifficulty accepting the deathintense emotional painemotional numbnessfeeling like you’ve lost a part of yourself persistent depressionwithdrawal from typical social activities In general, this type of grief often involves the loss of a child or partner. It can also be the result of a sudden or violent death. According to a 2017 meta-analysis, prolonged grief disorder may affect as many as 10 percent of people who have lost a loved one. Finding help for grief
Most therapists provide grief counseling. If counseling is outside of your budget, many mental health professionals offer a sliding scale. Also, consider online and in-person support groups. Talk to a doctor about a referral to a mental health expert. You can also find a counselor online or nearby through one of the following websites: American Psychiatric AssociationAnxiety & Depression Association of AmericaBlack Mental Health AllianceMental Health AmericaWhat’s Your Grief?World Professional Association for Transgender Health’s (WPATH) How therapy for grief can help
Seeking therapy after a loss can help you overcome anxiety and depression by processing your experience at your own pace. Each mental health expert may utilize a different approach to help patients tackle grief, and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) are two methods often used for bereavement. Cognitive behavioral therapy
CBT is a common treatment approach for mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). During a CBT session, the therapist will help you identify negative thought patterns that can affect your behaviors. They may ask you to explore thoughts related to grief and loss or other unhelpful thoughts to address how these thoughts affect your mood and behavior. They can help you lessen the impact with strategies such as reframing, reinterpreting, and targeting behaviors. Acceptance and commitment therapy
ACT is another method that may help with grief and loss. According to a 2016 research paper sponsored by the American Counseling Association, ACT may also be helpful with prolonged, complicated grief by encouraging clients to use mindfulness to accept their experience. ACT uses the following six core processes for grief counseling: Acceptance of negative emotions. This step involves a willingness to experience and accept negative emotions and thoughts.Cognitive defusion. This process involves distancing from emotions so that it’s easier to examine and understand them.Contact with the present moment. By teaching mindfulness, ACT encourages people to focus on the present as that is when change is possible and when you experience life.Self as context. This step involves observing yourself having your experiences or becoming an observer of the experiences in your life.Values. These are the principles you hold that help direct your life.Committed action. The culmination of ACT, this step involves taking action and overcoming obstacles by working through the previous steps. Grief counseling for children
Grief counseling for children incorporates many of the same elements as counseling for adults, but the therapist works in ways that are appropriate for children. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, children, especially younger ones, react differently to death than adults. In general, preschool-age children see death as temporary and reversible, but kids ages 5 through 9 think slightly more like adults. Some common ways grief counselors treat children include through:Play therapy. Play therapy uses a child’s most instinctive behavior of interacting with the world around them by playing. A therapist may use dolls, puppets, stuffed animals, a dollhouse, or other toys to encourage the child to communicate thoughts, feelings, questions, and concerns they may otherwise struggle to express in talk therapy. Art therapy. Art therapy allows a child to express themselves creatively and without words. A therapist may ask a child to draw or paint a picture of the person they are grieving and then use it as a way to explore their feelings. Narrative therapy. Several children’s books deal directly with death but in a child-centric way. A therapist may use books to help a child understand death and dying and what can happen moving forward. Things you can do to feel better if you re grieving
Self-care is a critical component of the grieving process. In addition to participating in therapy, consider things you can do to take care of yourself. Here are some ideas to get you started:Stick to a daily routine.Get physical activity daily. Eat a healthy diet.Restrict or avoid alcohol.Practice mindfulness meditation.Spend time with friends and family.Incorporate at least one thing in your day that brings you joy. What s the outlook for people dealing with grief
It can be difficult to quantify or predict the outlook for people dealing with grief, especially since each person manages it in their own way. It’s also challenging to predict if any one treatment may work the best. Grief does not follow one particular path. Healing is unique to each individual, and the outlook for people dealing with grief looks different for each person. A therapist can play a key role in supporting the healing process by facilitating counseling sessions based on your situation. Article resources
Bereavement. (n.d.). https://www.abct.org/Information/?m=mInformation&fa=fs_BEREAVEMENTCOVID Data Tracker. (n.d.). https://covid.cdc.gov/covid-data-tracker/#datatracker-homeGrief and children. (2018). https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-And-Grief-008.aspxLundorff M, et al. (2017). Prevalence of prolonged grief disorder in adult bereavement: A systematic review and meta-analysis. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032716318651?via%3DihubNew paths for people with prolonged grief disorder. (2018). https://www.apa.org/monitor/2018/11/ce-cornerSpeedlin S, et al. (2016). Using acceptance and commitment therapy to negotiate losses and life transitions. https://www.counseling.org/docs/default-source/vistas/article_121cc024f16116603abcacff0000bee5e7.pdf?sfvrsn=4Stroebe M, et al. (2017). Cautioning health-care professionals: Bereaved persons are misguided through the stages of grief. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0030222817691870 Last medically reviewed on October 16, 2022 How we vetted this article
HistoryOur experts continually monitor the health and wellness space, and we update our articles when new information becomes available. Current Version Oct 17, 2022 By Sara Lindberg Edited By John Bassham Medically Reviewed By Joslyn Jelinek, LCSW, CYT Copy Edited By Siobhan DeRemer Mar 22, 2021 By Sara Lindberg Edited By Debbie Nurmi Medically Reviewed By Jacquelyn Johnson, PsyD. Copy Edited By Siobhan DeRemer Share this articleMedically reviewed by Joslyn Jelinek, LCSW — By Sara Lindberg — Updated on October 16, 2022 Read this next
Coping with Depression After a Loved One’s DeathMedically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD For some people, intense grief after the death of a loved one can lead to depression or make underlying depression worse. Here's a look at approaches…READ MOREThe Practical Guide to Healing a Broken HeartMedically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD Healing a broken heart takes time, but there are practical things you can do to help yourself work through the grief.READ MOREGrief Counseling: Does Medicare Cover It?Medically reviewed by Deborah Weatherspoon, Ph.D., MSN Medicare does cover grief counseling, in addition to other mental health services. Learn what Medicare offers for mental health benefits and how to…READ MOREDepression After a Job Loss: Statistics and How to CopeMedically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST Job loss for people in the United States can be an extremely traumatic experience, often leading many to depression. Find out how to cope with…READ MOREDisenfranchised Grief: When No One Seems to Understand Your LossMedically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD Grieving is hard enough, but it's even harder when your grief is largely ignored by society.READ MOREThe Stages of Grief: What Do You Need to Know? While everyone experiences grief differently, here’s a rough estimation of what to expect when going through a difficult life event.READ MORE