Hysterical Parent Tweets
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25 Hysterical Parents Who Decided That Today Was Not The Day To Hold Back On Twitter
"If you like starting your day with a 1,000-question pop quiz, then parenting might be for you."
by Asia McLain StaffLink
We rounded up some of the funniest recent parenting tweets we could find, and these definitely made us laugh until our eyes watered:
1.
kidversations @kidversations_ 90% of parenting is convincing your children to participate in basic life necessities. Eat. Sleep. Shower. Repeat. 11:14 PM - 19 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @kidversations_ 2.
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 9-year-old: Dad! Dad! Dad! Me: I'm in the middle of something. Is it important? 9: This kiwi looks like a butt. 01:13 AM - 22 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @XplodingUnicorn 3.
MumInBits @MumInBits 5 said she doesn’t need to go to school anymore because she can already count up to 10 and that’s enough because she probably won’t ever eat more than 10 cupcakes 10:11 PM - 20 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @MumInBits 4.
Maryfairyboberry? @maryfairybobrry I have homework - My kids saying goodnight 01:57 AM - 18 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @maryfairybobrry 5.
Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad if you like starting your day with a 1000 question pop quiz then parenting might be for you 04:30 PM - 24 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @kevinthedad 6.
Raw Motherhood @MetteAngerhofer Babies really be acting like they're the victim of a terrible crime when really you're just trying to put warm PJs on them so they'll sleep comfortably. 06:08 PM - 19 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @MetteAngerhofer 7.
NicholasG @Dad_At_Law My 11 y/o daughter told me woodworking was the best strategy to make money so I played along and asked why. She said because it “would work” and I’m not sure what she’s up to but there’s only room for one dad in this house. 02:20 PM - 25 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Dad_At_Law 8.
Jawbreaker @sixfootcandy I'm convinced that my children's hamper is the gateway to hell. 05:29 PM - 19 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @sixfootcandy 9.
Maryfairyboberry? @maryfairybobrry Yesterday my kids learned I was born in the 80s and they spent the day in hysterical laughter in case you’re wondering why I’m eating cake for breakfast and expediting a case of wrinkle cream 03:00 PM - 20 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @maryfairybobrry 10.
Ozzy @ozzyunc My children do not appreciate the amount of human interaction I go through for them. 01:27 PM - 22 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @ozzyunc 11.
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3 We’ll see who’s laughing when my kids are asleep by 6pm 10:46 PM - 20 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @reallifemommy3 12.
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Instead of "yeet," my 6-year-old yells "YEAST," and I will never, ever correct her. 03:02 AM - 22 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @XplodingUnicorn 13.
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3 May I interest you in the whine list 05:07 PM - 24 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @reallifemommy3 14.
Average Dad @Average_Dad1 My kid said to pretend to be a baby so I laid down and then she started jumping on my chest and yelling “GO TO SLEEP! GO TO SLEEP!” so I don’t think she’s quite ready for parenthood yet 03:59 PM - 23 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Average_Dad1 15.
Lil Bit @LizerReal so many gems in this fake report card my 7yo made but omg 05:06 PM - 06 Dec 2021 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @LizerReal 16.
KJ @IDontSpeakWhine My daughter was nice to me this morning and I really think we're turning a corner on this grouchy morning teen thing. In unrelated news, my daughter asked for $20 right before she left for school. 01:21 PM - 25 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @IDontSpeakWhine 17.
Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix Parenting means bolting awake at midnight from your doorbell notification that someone is at your front door only to find out it's your teen getting a DoorDash delivery of Chicken McNuggets. 01:08 PM - 21 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @RodLacroix 18.
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo took my kid to see Disney on Ice and bought one glow stick, so now I’m off to file bankruptcy 01:12 PM - 24 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @notmythirdrodeo 19.
Laura is Such a Mom @WrightVtlala I had a 2 hour zoom meeting and my kid baked this monstrosity at 214degrees for 15 min 03:44 PM - 19 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @WrightVtlala 20.
Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness 6YO dropped the iPad on her face last night. I hugged her tight and laughed behind her back. Am I going to hell?! 02:45 PM - 20 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Chhapiness 21.
Maryfairyboberry? @maryfairybobrry You can have a good day with your teen or you can ask them to dress warm, you cannot have both 01:56 PM - 22 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @maryfairybobrry 22.
MumInBits @MumInBits My twins are trying to decide whether their dinner tastes like stinky socks or cat poop, I’m on the edge of my seat here 09:26 PM - 19 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @MumInBits 23.
Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad 62% of parenting is improvisational theatre 04:34 PM - 21 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @kevinthedad 24.
Average Dad @Average_Dad1 My toddler, wanting to help me hang a picture on the wall: no no no don’t do it, I will do it all by myself! My same toddler, when I ask her to pick up a single toy and put it away in her toy box two feet away: I don’t know how, I need help! 01:30 AM - 22 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @Average_Dad1 25.
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 9-year-old: I'm mad. Me: Why? 9: *motions vaguely at everything* Fair enough. 08:17 PM - 22 Jan 2022 Reply Retweet Favorite Twitter: @XplodingUnicorn If you think these parents are as funny as I do, be sure to follow them on Twitter!
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